Remembering: The mystery of Kenny Cunningham&#8217;s only league goal for Millwall &#8211; and the king of the genre

MOST of us have probably wondered if we were to play every minute of every game in one season for the club we support, would we score a goal?

Not if you were trained up in some king of reality TV bootcamp. In the state you are now: like your pints at the weekend; relatively take-the-dog-for-a-daily-walk fit; perhaps a weekly five-a-side; pie and mash on match-days.

Surely one would go in off your backside from a set-piece into the box. Or you would get in the way of a shot and it would nick off you and go in. An attempted clearance would cannon in off you. Or you would somehow end up in space and connect perfectly with the ball first-time.

Helpfully, Kenny Cunningham’s career provides a clue as to what the answer to that question is.

In 1993-94, Millwall were in their fourth season in the second tier after their relegation following their only two seasons in the First Division. After key players who had helped them to promotion in 1988 - such as Teddy Sheringham, Tony Cascarino, Jimmy Carter - had left, the Lions were building an exciting new side.

Cunningham was mostly a right-back and later in his career played centre-back. He had signed from Dublin amateur club Tolka Rovers in 1989. Mick McCarthy’s squad also contained highly-rated youngsters - among them Ben Thatcher, Andy Roberts, Mark Kennedy, Jon Goodman, Mark Beard, Jamie Moralee - and more experienced players such as Keith Stevens, Ian Dawes, Kasey Keller and Alex Rae.

The previous season the Lions had finished seventh, dropping out of the play-off places with five games left.

But McCarthy, a young manager at just 34 years of age heading into 1993-94, led them back into a promotion challenge after that disappointment.

The side were in fourth place in the table on April 2, 1994, when they headed south to Fratton Park to take on fifteenth-placed Portsmouth.

Darryl Powell gave Pompey the lead a minute before half-time.

Then came Cunningham’s moment. A minute into the second half he scored the equaliser. There doesn’t appear to be any footage of the goal online. Lions supporters on online forums don’t appear to recall it. One poster said it was a back-post header.

Anyway, Gerry Creaney put Portsmouth back in front from the penalty spot just three minutes from time.

The Lions responded again and David Mitchell scored a last-minute leveller, one of nine league goals he scored that season.

Cunningham’s goal was 1.7 per cent of Millwall’s total in the league that campaign as they finished in the play-offs before losing in the semi-finals to Derby County.

Cunningham scored two goals in 615 senior club games.

Cunningham enjoyed his prolific run of goal-scoring in successive seasons. In the 1992-93 campaign he scored in the Anglo-Italian Cup. It was in front of an attendance of 3,975 at The Den and Cunningham can always say he scored in a derby. Nobody can ever take away his opener in the 38th minute against Charlton Athletic. Maybe because nobody can remember it.

The Addicks responded after the break and Alan Pardew scored a 90th-minute winner for the visitors.

Cunningham was done scoring goals at the age of 22.

Cunningham joined Wimbledon in 1994 in a joint £1.3million deal with Goodman and carried on his impressive goal-evading form in the Premier League. In ten seasons in the top flight with the Dons and Birmingham City, he failed to find the back of the net in 335 games - still a Premier League record.

Cunningham also managed to avoid scoring in 72 international games for Ireland.

His record, though, trails that of former England defender Des Walker, who scored one goal in 860 senior games for club and country. That’s as many as the own goals he scored to win a major trophy for the opposition - an extra-time header into the top corner of his own net in Nottingham Forest’s 2-1 defeat to Tottenham Hotspur in the FA Cup final at Wembley in 1991. Truly exceptional goal-dodging.

Cunningham is one of the least YouTubey footballers ever. You won’t see videos of him running down the right before whipping over a dangerous cross. Or having a pop at goal from 30 yards like other Irish full-backs of that era, Denis Irwin, Steve Staunton or Steven Carr. Search ‘Cunningham’ and ‘Millwall’ and all you will find is some clips of him speaking on Off The Ball, an Irish podcast, a skit from Apres Match based on a disagreement Cunningham had with former Millwall midfielder Eamon Dunphy. And then for some reason videos with Gypsy bareknuckle boxers.

Danny McNamara arrives at the back post to head in his second against Barnsley in April 2002. Image: Millwall FC

If there is an equivalent in the current Millwall squad it is Danny McNamara, who has scored in only one game of the 163 he has played for the Lions. McNamara scored twice in a 4-1 win against Barnsley at The Den in April 2022.

Cunningham rounded off his playing career at Sunderland in 2007-08 with another trademark goal-less season - the eighteenth of his career.

If Cunningham hadn’t gone goal-crazy in ’03 and ’04 he would have joined the Tony Hibbert club. The former Everton defender ended his career on 238 senior club games not out with no goals.

There were others who just missed out on joining the Zero Club, such as ex-Millwall defender Andy Wilkinson, who blotted his copybook by scoring one goal in twelve games on loan at Scottish First Division Partick Thistle in 2004-05.

There are plenty of other notable goal-avoiders that deserve an honourable mention, such as Dean Blackwell, Justin Edinburgh and Lucas Radebe, but surely Walker is king of the genre.

Cunningham’s solitary goal helped Millwall to a crucial point in their play-off challenge in 1994. If anyone can shed more light on the circumstances around it, or perhaps even locate a photo of it, post in the comments below.

*An update after I had finished writing and posting this. Chris Bethell got back to me after I had asked him if he had been at the game or remembered the goal. And he sent me this. Thanks Chris!